My First Birth
My first birth:
Eve Marielle transitioned me from nurse to mother in 2014. While I had already coached many others through that journey, what an experience it was to walk it myself! Her labor and delivery could be simply explained as "Textbook," but the nitty gritty reality of each passing contraction brought a whole new level of understanding to the process.
I could not have felt more ready for her arrival as I bustled through the week of her due date. Feeling disproportioned as only a full term momma can, I decided to get a chiropractic adjustment on my due date--a Friday--and scheduled a prenatal massage for the next day. My husband worked Tuesday through Saturday at the time and I figured getting everything in line to welcome her Saturday night would make for delightful timing. Naive as this part of my birth plan was...we were blessed enough to have it work out right on queue. This was the beginning of what has since become one of my general labor tips: Prenatal chiropractic and massage care is a wonderful tool for helping your body prepare for delivery.
My husband's family had introduced me to the idea of home birth, but having assisted my Certified Nurse Midwife in the hospital, I chose the comfort of knowing my provider over the comfort of my own home. Still, I was thankful for the time I spent at home. Driving away from my massage, I felt the first "real" contraction. Though it was still late morning, I promptly settled myself down for a nap. Staying at home as long as possible helps both your body "rest up" before true labor and "open up" to allow progression. I waited until my contractions were about 3 to 4 minutes apart and more difficult to manage before waking my husband just after midnight.
I had spent the last few hours at home on a birth ball. Not really knowing much aside from "they're good to use during labor," I did what came naturally...bounce. If you don't remember anything else from reading this, please remember: NEVER BOUNCE ON A BIRTH BALL IN LABOR (birth balls can be incredibly helpful for positioning, but bouncing rushes the baby's progression--often wedging them at a less than ideal point in their natural rotation). I felt a strange shift in Marielle's head placement that made each contraction hurt more. I wrongly assumed this was a good sign in a "no pain, no gain" simplicity. Looking back, I can now recall it vividly as an "unnatural pain" indicating a less than ideal fetal position.
Positioning in labor can make all the difference between "failure to progress" and the natural delivery of your child. After arriving at the hospital around 2 am, I was checked and admitted at 6 cm dilated. Five hours of hall walking, showering, and ignorant ball use later, I was in excruciating pain and seemingly stalled at 6 cm. My midwife (Kathleen Philbin, CNM - Select Women's Healthcare) arrived on the floor around 6:30 am and quickly deduced that Marielle was stuck in a posterior head presentation. She suggested a couple of positioning maneuvers. To my great relief, I felt my daughter's head shift again within just an hour or two of her adjustments. This time the sharpness of the pain lessened subtly while the intensity began to double. This was my first full-submersion lesson in the language of labor pain. Listening to the quality, intensity, and location of a woman's pain can often give insight into helping her reach delivery smoothly.
I progressed quickly from 6 cm to 10 cm and was ready to start pushing around 10 am. Knowing that transition can produce some crazy outbursts, I had two goals: (1) Not to say the phrase "you did this to me" to my husband, Daniel, and (2) Not to physically harm him. With this in mind, I knew that eating during labor and waiting until you can't keep from pushing help to reserve energy for when it's needed most. Unfortunately, halfway through one of my more intense pushes I found my hand uncontrollably digging its nails into Daniel's arm. Horrified, I tried saying sorry between pushes, but the next contraction hit with my hand touching his head. The sentiment came out as, "I'm so sorREEEEEE," with a fist full of his wavy hair hopelessly entangled in my fingers. At least staying rested and nourished though labor helped me keep from saying anything I regretted too much!
With my husband on one side, mother on the other, and trusted midwife ready to receive my daughter, I did find myself saying a phrase I had heard others say so many times before: "I can't do this anymore!!!" Simultaneously, I could hear the nurse in my head chiming this tried and true reassurance, "Yes, you can! Your body IS doing it. Just let it happen." With that moment came a flood of understanding and appreciation. Having someone you trust supporting you through your delivery is the best way to avoid potentially necessary interventions. Moments later I held my little girl in my arms for the first time. Simply put, there is not way of expressing the depth of love that surged in that instant.
Despite the nearly idyllic delivery of my daughter, Marielle's birth brings mixed emotions. The day after her birth (and the ten days that followed) served to shape my practice as a labor support person even more than the labor and delivery itself. Due to a medical error, our Marielle contracted an infection and required IV antibiotics. Through the roller coaster of unexpected choices and emotions surrounding our NICU experience, I discovered that a birth story does not end at delivery. Continuity of care that supports you from pregnancy, through birth, and into the weeks that follow is essential for families to feel they have received the best care possible. Despite all that, Marielle fought through and is now a beautiful 4 year old with soft blonde hair and a tenacity for life! More than anything, her birth left me certain that I wanted to see my clients through not only their delivery, but all the struggles along the way and thereafter.
